The Underground Geek: A Fabulous Experience of ‘Augmented Sexuality’

When analyzing and rationalizing the ‘web digitalis homo sapiens’ the sexual mannerisms of the geek are a vast source of entertaining information for editors: the geek, this alien-like creature, seems to inspire “piss-copy 2.0“.  I can humbly declare myself part of this community, so maybe one day I will start handing geeks a user manual of the clitoris.

The mainstream geek : an orgasm and mozzarella cheese are planned for the night...

Under the conventional view that the geek is not really human but not completely alien, we decided to humorously exploit the secrete life of the geek.  Geeks themselves were encouraged to contribute to propagating stereotypes (evidence of a tasteful sense of self-mockery). Thus society has come to an understanding of the geek as an individual; although maybe a bit asocial and an avid gamer who can play online games all night, eat only pizza and Coca-Cola (not even Coca-Cola zero), is rather shy but passionate with a fiery disposition.

Yes, the geek is supposed to kiss like a god, as he is filled with much pent-up sexual frustration generated by months of seclusion. Basically, any female who is able to marvel at Asimov or hold her own on an Xbox has a very good chance to nab her own personal and devoted geek. Of course, this is only the conventional version of things. The unflattering description of a retarded teen falling of his bike’s handlebars is only a caricature of mainstream geek, whose characteristics remain fully accessible for the general public: easy to understand, easy to get.

It is vital to carefully investigate the darker side of geekitude; another kind of geek, more discreet, behind social networks, virtually living in his own way and totally disregarding the existence of Pizza Hut. A little more sophisticated than his mainstream counterpart, and slightly more celebrated is the underground geek. A nugget. A diamond in the rough. Whereas mainstream geeks’ passion resides in chaos, the underground geek possesses a refined type of eroticism. And powerful. A hook-up with an underground geek is an experiment in real augmented sexuality.

Yes, the concept of “augmented reality” comes from infinity. And concepts that underlie it are fully transferable, including sex. A while ago, Eric Scherer spoke about “Increased Journalism.” During the second point he raised, he advised his audience to “let go of  your content, and let the external content enter.” Ooooh but I’m quite okay, Eric. There is nothing quite like that type of temptation to let in the external content. Especially if that content belongs to an underground geek, a man able to increase tenfold our perception of sexuality. How does he do it? It’s very simple: during the experience of an ordinary fuck, the brain is triggered to shift its intellectual energy onto sex. At this point we get the real geek-sex in 3D, an alchemy that has nothing virtual about it.

The underground geek is not only capable of simultaneously irrigating his brain and his “tail”, but it also considers the two erogenous zones as equivalent. That said, if we open the door to augmented sexuality, it is harder to tame the mainstream geek; his operations are more complex and he is a bit wild. Basically, he deserves it. The portrait of an exceptional specimen.

The underground geek does not appreciate the Web 2.0…and that’s hot.

Facebook is an abomination, Twitter is annoying. MySpace is the incarnation of Satan, and Murdoch is unspeakable scum. Unlike the mainstream geek who is a pure product of the social Internet, the underground geek is acutely aware of the subtle methods used for commercial exploitation of personal data. He/She is strongly opposed to it, and rightly so. The argument is not just a raised fist against big capitalism, far from it! He has documentation to support his views!

For example, A woman can ponder the economic impact of the Web 2.0 and support a cantankerous debate on the functioning of questionable players, but still have a good chance to end the evening pinned on the couch, with the hem of her skirt tickling her ears.

Admittedly, it takes a little more personal involvement than just carefully applied glitter mascara or watching the complete Big Bang Theory series, but in terms of return investments it’s more profitable. The delivery of the underground geek is inversely proportional to the intensity of his dislike for the Web 2.0. He has mastered both cunnilingus and the sacrosanct principle of no free lunch.  Yes to augmented orgasms, with a hint of ideological conflict.

The underground geek does not play. He codes.

In the underground geek’s home, you will not find an X-Box console. His PC has no super cosmic graphics card. When he is frantically hitting the keyboard, he’s not playing. To relax in the evening after work, he devotes himself to his personal projects, militantly deciding to create the best web page or application. And make no mistake: though he readily adheres to the slogan of Wordpress (Code IS poetry ), he will despise some of these ersatz CMS, which are only good for making the Internet a helpless entity on life support breathing php. For him, if you’re not 30 years under SPIP, you’ve just wasted your life.

Moreover, developers use SPIP as the main reference. Of course, from SPIP it is necessary to get your hands dirty in other ways, but a blogger who would sell himself to an underground geek would do well not to brag too much about Wordpress, rather to acknowledge that this tool is part of the SPIP family. For the underground geek, it’s not enough to understand: we must show what we can do. But don’t panic if the prospect of unzipping an SPIP is too scary  (though a colder underground geek could tell you it’s not more complicated than Wordpress), it is possible to resign yourself to an observer role by simply admiring the man with the work. On the condition, of course, that you have enough knowledge to keep up with the underground geek. In short, you must briefly engage with the underground geek without wallowing in the subjects.

In fact, SPIP is the bare minimum to the establishment of any true geekery. Our geek sees farther, and gives life to his own conception of the social networking niche. In any case, there is always Elgg, the open source tool that can create a customized network.

So, if someone wants to experience augmented sexuality, gaining an understanding of Elgg and knowledge of the relevant questions to ask can be beneficial on two levels: first, the mastery of the subject matter creates a mutual interest. Secondly, the answers to the questions will create a real appreciation of how the underground geek’s brain  functions .

Some helpful tips to follow:
- Compare with him with the aspects of both packages of Elgg (the core engine and the complete package) that he really wishes to develop, or at least to  choose some community plugins to improve the basic software.
- Know that The Wire is the internal Twitter Elgg
- Know that one of the great strengths of Elgg is that even though it is a part of a social network, it is free from typical commercial exploitation of personal data, and allows for the accommodation of code on its own.
- Learn to be lenient when the geek encounters an impasse in his coding (this is the time to introduce the expression “backward compatibility“).

More generally, you have to be able to analyze why a chunk of “unclean code” can still be used.

So okay, the process does takes a lot of patience and encroaches on time normally allotted for physical activities. Yet, by making the extra effort, the underground geek is able to switch his energies from his brain to sex: which will be of much service for you later. Welcome to the world of augmented eroticism (a communion of souls on an integrated platform).

The geek underground does not complain. He fights.

Little by little, without hesitation, and with great consistency in everyday life, he fights. Significant examples:

- Coke Zero? Only geek assholes and bitches are hyped up about that drink. There is no safe place, as Coca-Cola murders Colombian trade unionists.The documents published by German Gutierrez and Carmen Garcia validate this argument. So, it is better to open a good bottle of Bordeaux.
- Opening links is an act of pure evil. Why? Well, because web guru Jakob Nielsen once said so. In one of his Alertbox. On May 30, 1999, to be precise. Opening links is counterproductive to Internet freedom, as it causes a loss of history and, in short, it is a breach of the ethics ingrained in any self-respecting webmaster. Seriously, hyperlinks are crap. (Here’s a survival tip: if you are in underground geek territory and you’re about to visit a hyperlink, you’d better click the scroll wheel on the mouse. There. You’ve opened a new tab. You haven’t lost the original page. This should be the goal of every normal person.)
- Fair Trade? Yes, but not the way it’s currently done. In contrast to the stupid idiots who munch quinoa and fart green without thinking for one second about the liters of kerosene released as a result of the importation of this South American herb, the underground geek thinks intelligently and buys music (often punk music), books (no, he does not read them), and even coffee.

Overall, the quiet conviction with which he defends his values makes the underground geek even more desirable: out of all the loudmouths shouting at you to sign protest forms at annual demonstrations or those awkward gamers in need of a cat to bring them back into  reality, geeks who can demonstrate a level of credibility are no small feat.

And at the core of all of this is a way of thinking about life: credible, well-documented and totally involved. This augmented breed (with a touch of social protest or html) is a delightful surprise.

Attempting to adopt the underground geek into our lives.

Ultimately, this geek isn’t a safe bet, and all too often overlooked. It would be useful to market a software, according to the principles of augmented reality, and virtually integrate the underground geek in our bed…just to get an accurate picture of the service.

My personal opinion? I totally value this male specimen. I recommend it, even.

But in the meantime, my personal blogs still rely on Wordpress. I tweet every day, and I washed down a liter of Coke Zero when writing this article, and all the links that I’ve inserted are the opening kind. I guess I’m not a good recruit.

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Flickr CC images Caesar S.., steve mac, Fonzie’s cousin and adpowers